Keyword: Craig Marshall Smith
20 results total, viewing 1 - 20

Human-dog relationship status: ‘It’s uncomplicated’

Why does your dog lick your face? You say, “My dog doesn’t lick my face.” Do me a favor, and just play along. Your dog licks your face because it tastes like a ham on rye. How can your face … more

Awash in beauty and wonder — that’s just how we roll

Jennifer, Harry, and I went on a road trip. Don’t yawn. Yet. We looped from Littleton to Salida to Monte Vista to Durango to Mesa Verde to Telluride to Gunnison to Littleton, and stopped along the … more

Expect annual boom in lowbrow behavior

It doesn’t hurt to ask, but I know what you’re going to say. Wouldn’t it be nice if the Fourth of July came and went without any residential explosions? They’re illegal. They’re annoying. … more

If you try to be cool, you’re getting colder

Whenever I am facing something I am unable to resolve on my own, I ask, “What would Lincoln do?” Abraham Lincoln is my guidepost, my lighthouse, my lodestar. “The Springfield Redbird” is what … more

There’s a lot to be said for a moment of silence

Man goes to see his doctor and says, “Doc, every time I hit my hand with a hammer it hurts.” Doctor says, “Stop hitting your hand with a hammer.” That’s one of the oldest jokes I’ve ever … more

Life may not be predictable, but graduation speeches are

The invitations have gone out, and once again I didn’t receive one. I wasn’t asked by a single high school, college, or university in the United States to give their commencement speech, even … more

The funny thing about humor is how often it isn’t funny

An ice cream truck used to appear every day at the parks where I played when I was a kid. Its infectious little tune made my mouth water. I think now it would drive me to distraction. On each side of … more

Are you sitting down? Better yet, are you lying down surrounded by pillows?

I take the safety of my readers very seriously. Therefore, I’d like to express my deepest condolences in advance to anyone who reads one of my columns while drinking hot coffee, driving, being … more

Puppy love is in bloom as plants are upstaged

May flowers are on the dining room table. They don’t come from my garden. They come from a grocery store. I was diagnosed with a brown thumb. I once had house plants. Not a lot of them, but enough … more

Jazz Age classic continues to be assigned of the times

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Great Gatsby” was first published 93 years ago today (as this is being written). Fitzgerald was only 29. He would live another 15 years after a short career in both … more

Something rings true about conversation without phones

I had lunch with Mark, a good friend, someone I have known for 30 years, an important Colorado artist, and the wittiest man this side of New Smyrna. We met at a Littleton restaurant and reminisced … more

Looking for things that will keep? Keep looking

When I was 18-19, I thought I wanted a career in hand-drawn illustration, and my goal was album covers. Glad I didn’t. Hand-drawn illustrations are mostly gone, and so are (long playing) album … more

If you’re not watching for dog food falling from the sky, you should be

Heads-up. Your dog food might be on its way down. Amazon (our new neighbors?) just received a patent for packages with inflatable air bags. Amazon wants to make deliveries by drone from as high as 25 … more

Decades in classrooms taught a lesson about weak parenting

The illusion of a schoolteacher, like the ones I knew, is long gone. Modern teachers are still expected to be capable of teaching all of the subjects I was taught. On top of that, they are required … more

Remembering a woman who made a clean slate of cleaning

Margaret Atwood — remember her? — said, “In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.” To be honest, I had never heard of Atwood, but I liked the quote. The quote led me … more

Sometimes when all seems good, that really is the case

If it’s on the floor, it’s on the menu. If it’s near the floor, it’s on the menu. Who would drink toilet water if he could reach it? No, it’s not: 1. A Republican, or 2. A Democrat. Who … more

Hate is a hunger that consumes with no chance of being sated

Hate” is a brutal word. It’s final, and it comes without nuance. It gets the job done if your vocabulary is, uh, um, like, limited, or if you need something right now in the heat of the moment. … more

Somehow time is a fastball that throws you a curve

Time flies. Time really flies. I just received an invitation to pre-order a 2019 SUV. The vehicle isn’t in the works: It already exists. I received the invitation in February 2018. When I was a … more

Knock off the buffering against winter suffering

This is the winter of my discontented discontent. You call this winter? How am I going to appreciate spring if winter is spring? I need a few sunless days, and to be closed in by snowbanks. I want … more

When death took a stranger, it claimed a much-needed friend

I didn’t know Zackari Parrish. Not at all. I know I have needed men and women like him my entire life. Not because of the fact that he was a good deputy, but because he was someone with a good … more
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